"Say What You Need To Say"

I'm not going to blame the steroid pack completely, but WHOAH, BABY have I been EMOTIONAL lately. Ever seen "Blind Side" with Sandra Bullock? Well, given that Garith crashed out early, we On Demanded it and Andy had to pause it about 20 minutes in 'cuz I needed to have a full blown SOB SESSION! It was kinda nice not having my voice. Andy knew I couldn't tell him what was wrong, so he just knelt next to me and held me tight. I felt so loved and it was incredible to let that childhood hurt bubble up and out and not be able to try to stop it with my words of explanation. After about 3 minutes of these waves, I was able to calm my breath and Andy pulled back to look me in the eye. What came out of his mouth made me laugh harder than I have in YEARS: "Do you think it's just the steroids or is there something else?"

At that moment, I broke my vow of silence, but I couldn't even get it out because I was laughing too hard. Next thing you know, Andy and I are both laughing hysterically and the look on his face was priceless when I finally could put it together in audible words: "I think it's the ROIDS, man!"

Needless to say, there have been many highs and lows lately. Maybe it is the roids or maybe it's the impact of not having my voice for a week.

One thing for sure, I'm learning that saying what I need to say doesn't always come in the form of a discussion. Maybe another song title can be "Feel What You Need To Feel"?