Ok, so I know I totally bagged on the medical community a few blogs ago, but I give myself permission to completely change my mind! Despite the harshness of that appointment, during my first voice therapy session today, the scope showed that my cyst has been fully removed from my vocal cord, the steroids have reduced the swelling and my voice is on its way to recovery... I could HEAR the difference during my new humming exercises. The "lost pitches" have been found and now I AM DYING TO SING!!
Given my progress, I was released to do a small amount of speaking in a "confidential" voice. You guessed it, the bridle was taken off of a wild horse and I did not get an "A" in monitoring what was worth saying. I just wanted to everything to be back to the way it was. Especially in talking to and parenting Garith. He noticed right away, "You got your voice back!"
I'm currently realizing how much energy I have put into trying to control my little man and his actions with my words. "3 chances then time out" lost its effectiveness in the last week without my tone of voice and explanations of why he's in trouble. Facial expressions can only go so far and quite honestly, he started to just turn away from me. His manners have also fallen through the cracks without my constant reminders for "please," "thank you," and "excuse me." Routines, rules, consequences and compassion... all a part of the job of a parent.
I've also noticed that what I choose to say to discourage a behavior can really be hurtful like "You are still saying mean things to me, so I don't want to play with you anymore." I don't want to be a mean mommy, but when Garith is testing his limits, I find myself buckling down hard.
So, my voice is TIRED. I can tell that I pushed it too hard even though I was only at 10% of my typical day.
For tomorrow, I promise myself that I will NOT talk as much. I will think about what I need to say and let the rest go. I will trust myself. I will trust my child. I will trust God.
Keep us in your prayers and thank you for reading this blog!!
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You da Bomb, Snow! Here's a link: TiredofYelling.com. It's a good program: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting, or STEP. I worked on the field test version when I was in my Masters program, eons ago @ UofA. I stumbled upon this website; it's been modernized onto CDs! Highly recommended by yours truly!
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